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September 21 Kabul Diaries - 21st - 23rd Sept 200621 Sept 2006
It's Thursday - half day, tomorrow we are off.
There have been security warnings because street protests have been announced over the comments of Pope Benedikt on Jihad.
Some people are really stupid - was that necessary? The comment, I mean. Just keep your mouth shut! It will not change anything anyway.
I am worried, too, about Fahim.
He set out for the Panjshir again today. He had this strange prediction from a friend that he will die in a bomb explosion. This friend has made two correct prediction during several years.
Even though it may of course be total bollox I still can't help think about it.
What if we lost him too? After de Ponfilly? Another part of this broken dream would have been lost ...
I will have to call him tomorrow and see if he is alright!
What an amazing day it turned out to be after I left the office:
I met my friend Lauren, who is a photography teacher at AINA, to go for a shooting season with local Afghan muscian.
We went to this man's house. It was a bit outside of Kabul in a small village - mud-brick walled houses.
The interior was typically Afghan, all rooms covered in floor cushions and carpets, large windows with their typical horizontal 6-part partitions. The sun was pouring into the room as we sat down.
Then the old-beturbend man brought out his citar and started playing, our photographer was shooting away.
Half his family joined us to watch, they served tea.
As always in such communities one does not get to see the women of the house, the men or the children serve the tea.
I am oozing comfort in such situations, the heart and soul of this country is opening infront of one's eyes.
As we made our way back to Kabul proper I was ready for my weekend.
One does not do terribly exciting things here in a place were there is not much of a night life, no major shopping destricts and such things. But everyday's journey is the destination and in every moment and around every corner is something to be observed and seen.
We drove by Massoud square with his handsome face pinned to the memorial pillar. I can never help but turn my head and look until he disappears from my view.
Then we got down from the car and walked by the Serena Hotel into the buzzling market-heart of the city. AINA needed two more photo-cameras for their students, so we went to a shop to buy them.
After we were done my friend Lauren and I decided to get a civilised cuppa at the Serena Hotel.
We sat down in the hotel's courd yard and I took a deep breath of the late afternoon air, some 25C and sunny skies.
And then it happened: we noticed a big event being layed out on the other side of the Serena's garden. Some 100 white-clothed tables, flower arrangements and the photos of President Hamid Karzai and the Saudi Ambassador to Kabul.
My friend being a photographer she smelled blood. "Maybe I can get a shot of Karzai" she laughed.
Before we moved over to the reception's venue, however, an encounter would take place which would alter my life in many ways:
As we slowly drank our coffee, chatting away, suddenly a man approached us from the left. I first did not recognise him, but it was someone whom I had met while in Panjshir the week before.
He seemed very happy to see me again and one of the first things he said was "can I have your card". Later he told me that he didn't know what to do when he first met me because he couldn't ask Fahim for my number. So he said he was so happy to see me again.
Well, I didn't think much of it at the time but one week later we would be on our way to Panjshir yet again, alone.
We would spend the afternoon and the night there, together in a small pavillion in Fahim's house. I remember the night was starfilled - up there in the mountains you see the milky-way much more clearly. We talked for hours until we finally moved close to each other. His hand reached out and touched mine, then he carressed my cheek and kissed me.
We made love then, under the stars. All curtains, but one in this beautifull pillow filled pavillion closed.
This love affair would end in my seperation and divorce from my husband - it was the articulation of feelings which had fled my heart already two years ago. They fled towards a man too incredible to discribe and they were fulfilled by a man so close to all this. I thank God for taking my pain which would have broken me, had it not found fulfilment.
The protokol people were very nice and upon approaching them invited us to join the party. We did not have to be asked twice and moved to sit down at one of the tables 10 minutes before the scheduled reception by the Ambassador.
Not any table, as it turned out - the VIP table!! But we did not know that at that point because it was not designated as such.
I suggested to my friend that she place herself where the Ambassador greats all his visitors and I would point out to her the important attendants. And then one of the protokol people told us that not Karzai but his first Vice President Ahmad Zia Massoud was going to attend. - I almost fell of my chair !! Ahmad Zia? Brother of Ahmad Shah Massoud? "We must get a photo of him and with him" I instructed my friend. "I will tell you who he is".
Not familiar with the personalities of Afghan politics she shrugged and nodded "o.k".
Some five minutes later a small-framed, slim man with deep eyes, which so reminded me of his brother's, stepped up to the Saudi Ambassador. "That is Ahmad Zia" I tapped my friend on the shoulder "follow him"
So we did. I looked at him all the while and he caught my eyes - twice - before he moved to his table, which was our table!! He sat next to me - and I almost fell of my chair a second time.
After a while I asked Lauren to approach Ahmad Zia for a photo opportunity and I took the chance to introduce myself.
"I am sorry, sir, to interrupt you but I wanted to ask whether I could have a photo opportunity with you. See, you must understand that I have never in my life admired and loved a man more than your brother. It is hence an honour for me to meet you."
He smiled at me, then said with a serious expression "Thank you. If you wish you can come to my office some time next week and we can talk. Please approach my assistant and make and appointment." He pointed at a man across the table.
"I will do that - thank you so much."
I got up from my squatting position and we posed for the photo.
Such a priceless moment! My longing which has been drying up my heart can never be fullfilled, but God takes pitty on me with occasions like these!
Also at this table were Abdur Rahman Sayyaf - one of the warlords who fought over Kabul between 1992 and 1996. The first thought which hit me was "why are you sitting at this table and not in prison" but then I firmly believe that the situation will catch up with him for what games he has played, for the role he played in slaughtering 10,000 Hazaras in the southern suburbs of Kabul and for his implied involvment in Amer Sahib's murder.
I also met Prof. Mujjadidi - the PhD-mentor of Abullah Shariat, the first counsel in the Afghan Embassy in Kuala Lumpur, with whom I am presently working on a book on the development models of Singapore and Malaysia.
When I reached home that evening I could not sleep. The incredible meeting with Zia Massoud haunted me.
23 September 2006
It is the start of Ramadan today. It was announced on very short notice the evening before. So today we have a public holiday.
After sleeping in until 9.00 I went for breakfast with my housemate to a nearby guesthouse. They have wireless internet there - for free if you only order some food.
After spending some three hours there I went with Lauren and two of the AINA photographers to Qarghar Lake south of Kabul. We drove through Karte Parwan - the southern district of Kabul which I always liked - it has something cosy about it; we passed by the Hotel Intercontinental, the Kabul Polytechnic and then small hamlets south of the capital.
We passed by the Kabul Golf Course. They call it a desert golf course and - me not being a golfer - could not figure out the fairway - but what the heck. It was interesting to see.
Lake Qarghar is nothing terribly spectacular but it's nice to drive out of town. Located just south of the golf course they have many picknick spots around the lake, but this being Ramadan nobody served food. So we just wandered around and took some photos. They have brick-makers there, forming their fragile ware out of the lake's mud.
Actually this place has lots of potential to become a major entertainment spot and weekend hangout.
After our return to Kabul we went to the only German Restaurant in town - first time after many years that I had baked camembert!
September 20 The pressure is onIf you do not have a problem, you create one
One did not have to be psychic to predict what is now playing out between the US and India.
The nuclear deal is not even ratified by the US Congress yet and already the whip is being drawn: India stay way from any business with Iran or the carrot will be withdrawn!
It is always tempting to engage with Big Brother in world affairs. The US' business pressures and political influence based on that power is far too huge to ignore. By implementing their system of governance and business this influence is being deepend by the year around the world.
That is all the Indian government saw when engaging with the US in the nuclear technology deal. Did anyone - except for the protesting populace - see the whip?
India was in a perfect geopolitical position just years ago, holding cards which would have proofed superior to those they hold now:
India has been having a traditionally high-standing relationship with Russia, while it kept the US at arms-length.
Looking at the present geo-stratigic game being played out or is beginning to be played out in Central Asia, India would have been in a strong position in an alliance with Russia.
Russia and China, together with the Central Asian countries and Iran will be deciding on the future of this region. The US will be regarded as an outsider, a thorn in the regions side even. So will any allies of the US.
Central Asia, however, is far closer to home for India and of vital energy importance. Far more important than their nuclear capabilities. Trying to buy the cake and eat it too will not work for India.
Now, however, India placed itself in a weaker position as it is trying to please both sides. It may get left standing with nothing or only an unsatisfactory position as it is trying to manage the rock and the hard place.
September 19 Kabul Diaries 1st - 20th Semptember 061st September 2006 It is Ahmad Shah Massoud's birthday today - he would have turned 53. Just five years ago on that day he was still alive. One more week he had to live then - such thoughts keep haunting me.
Me, I am going to Kabul "for good" as they say - but what is ever for good? I hope to go for several years, then we see again. Life is like that - don't plan too far ahead as it makes you emotionally that much more vulnerable. I am arriving on 9th September, five years and 1 hour after Amer Sahib died - why could I not be there ten years earlier? Such thoughts keep haunting me. It still does not feel like I am going, that I am going there to work. It still does not feel like I am finally having a chance to contribute a little to shaping this country which has grown so close to my heart. Perhaps that is so, because I have been there before, because it is not unknown to me. But then, no - I will realise that I left a decade of security behind when I am on that plane to Delhi, latest when I am stepping into another world there - regardless of how western people like to see themselves now in these big Indian cities. It still is another world. One's senses get challenged on every corner, and I mean that in a positive way. In Singapore life is predicable - for better or worse - things have somewhat become bland to me. In South Asia it is different: people's faces alone are so much more varied, individual, more pleasing. The culture so rich, vibrant, animated, spirited. Again - for better or worse. When I step down from that plane, I will have left my life of the last ten years - only then.
And then, the next day I will pull a Chuni over my head and will emerge deeper into South Asia. I am looking forward to seeing the Hindu Kush from Kabul airport, even the racked arrival terminal breathes familiar territory by now. 09 September 2006 I am here – I am happy – then again not: It is Amer Sahib's death anniversary today – it breaks my heart. I stepped out of the airport into the 30C Kabul sky. Windy and dusty it is at the moment, kites are flying. Yesterday, a suicide bomber took an American army vehicle apart, killing several people. Not helpful, terrible for the victims' loved ones.
I spent 3 days in Afghan Logistics' Guesthouse, then moved to the AISA house. I am sharing the house with a Malaysian Chinese girl. I am not too happy to stay with foreigners – but kya karo?
While in our Guesthouse we had a full house: our reps from UK and USA were there, plus a travel writer from Lonely Planet (yes they are going to have a book on Afghanistan next year!)
So I had lots of interesting conversations and was immediately sucked back into this country. It was great meeting my “brothers” again – everybody is so lovely to me.
Since last Thursday I am living in the AISA guesthouse. I have straight away made it into what I like:
I took down all the old curtains and put up my IKEA ones, re-arranged the furniture, but my bedding etc. etc. Now it’s cosy enough.
We got a new stove, fridge, TV, I bought typical Afghan floor cushions for a corner, got a coffee table made for the common dining room. All this is paid for by AISA. So overall quite generous.
12 September 2006
In order to buy those floor cushions I went out with one of our drivers. It was one of those nice things to do. You dive into the Kabul scenery. The only foreigner in a mile radius. The merchant we bought from invited us for tea of course. I speak to these people in a mixture of Dari and Hindi – it’s great, it really works. Hopefully soon I will be able to hold a basic conversation in Dari only.
13 September 2006
Then I had another great day. I went walking with this travel writer. We asked our driver to drop us near a vegetable market in centre of town. And we just walked, in the afternoon sun, under the blue sky, surrounded by the hassle and bustle of a market like that. After we passed through that market we arrived at a small little road perhaps 500 metres long. They call it bird market. People sell fighting birds there in cages of all shapes and sizes. No foreigner ever comes here, the attention you attract is according. But good attention, you know. People chat with you, and one’s ten Dari words carry one through. A cup of tea in someone’s shop and I am happy. The people are gorgeous.
The weather has been great – blue skies and not too hot.
For the first three days I researched and wrote an article for the Singapore magazine LUXX. It is a supplement to the Prestige Magazine.
14 September 2006
I went to the Panjshir Valley with a man called Fahim Dashty, who was shooting a documentary at the time when the bomb, which killed Amir Sahib, exploded.
Once more the beauty of the Panjshir mesmerised me, I has been too beautiful.
Talking with Fahim has - as before - been a beautiful experience; Talking to someone who has suffered huge physical but even bigger emotional scars from Amir Sahib's death - was yet again a very emotional experience for me. Too big to talk about much in a public forum like this.
15 September 2006
We returned from the Panjshir - filled with joy and tears.
In the afternoon I decided to do some shopping for outstanding basic food items in the house. Again I just walked: to Kabul City Centre - the only shopping mall in town, to Chelsea supermarket, where they carry a lot things the foreign heart desires. I found my Indian spices there. On the way back I found all the vegetables I needed to start cooking.
On my way back I swung by Afghan Logistics guesthouse to use the internet. And everybody was there yet again. Our UK rep had just returned from a trip to Bamyan and travel writer Paul had delayed his departure to Kunduz by a few more days.
But then my cooking plans were postponed by another two days. That evening I was too tired to do anything, the next day I would start work and straight caught a stomach flu so that I had to stay at home the next day.
18 September 2006
I stayed at home today as I still had some fever. I passed my day with watching DVDs and cooking - finally; my first self-prepared meal in Afghanistan.
19 September 2006
I am restored and full of energy. - Work is starting slow, though. I am supposed to re-organised, re-built the investor support department. In order to do so I have to sift through many documents, see what has been done so far, what needs improvement and change. It will take a while - but we'll get there.
Went out with a lady I met the other day in AINA next door to my office. She teaches photography to Afghan women there. We went to the Gandamark Lodge, one of the nicest guest houses in town - in old colonial, 60s Kabuli style. They have a restaurant there so we had dinner and an excellent conversation.
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